COVID: JC Restaurant Edition

A list of places you should patronize while we plan for the biggest party we’ve seen in like…3 months.

Laico’s

There’s a world in which a Laico’s sits next to a Red Lobster at a mall in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. Thankfully we don’t live in that world.

Citi Grill

This intro was perhaps a tad too aggressive.

DOMODOMO

New restaurants, the JC safari, and finally getting respectable sushi in town.

Bread & Salt

Talkin’ pizza, new JC spots, Jose Andres’ farts and some other things

Los Cuernos

Congrats, you created Mexican Applebee’s.

Best Things: Burgers – O’Leary’s Publik House

Holy shit, two reviews in one week. Except this time I’m eating a better dive burger .

Best Things: Burgers – New Park Tavern

Go for the bar, not the burger. I mean, have the burger, but the bar is better.

Best Things: Burgers – White Star

Three men blindly met up at a bar to bond over juicy meat, forever giving me the confidence of organizing a successful Turnpike gangbang on Grindr. No good pics.

K-POT

The All You Can Eat Buffet is the pinnacle of America’s exuberant exceptionalism and the catalyst of it’s slow decline into nuclear winter. K-POT might save us from that.

The Nice Things Guide to Spring Produce

Alternative title: Nice Things man-splains buying produce to his entire audience.

Tony Boloney’s

Death rides a slice of white pizza, topped with fondue cheese, chocolate chips, and another slice of pizza.

Best Things: Burgers – Wurstbar

The perks of writing a blog, eating a really good burger, and a bonus partial review of Wurstbar.

Also, this review will be umlaut free.

Best Things: Burgers – SAM A.M Bergen-Lafayette

OAK on Pine is now SAM A.M. Bergen – Lafayette. I wish the biggest issue with this place was the amount of typing I have to do to mention them, or their love of underscores. Unfortunately we’ve got a bigger issue.

Best Things: Burgers – Latham House

Latham House opened in the old location of whatever the fuck that place was called – it wasn’t worth remembering. While they do have big brunch hype, I can’t say they’ve got a bunch of burger hype behind them. Actually, I’m pretty sure that one asshole in the comments told me to go here for […]

Best Things: Burgers – Diesel and Duke

Diesel and Duke’s is a fast-casual burger shack with locations in any NYC suburb containing a Fortune 500 pharmaceutical company. If you’re within a stone’s throw of an Audi SUV, down vests, and a child named Mackenzleigh, chances are you’re also close to a Diesel and Duke. They’ve been A-OK in my book ever since […]

Best Things: Burgers – Piggyback Bar

First submission of many submissions to come. Or it won’t be. Low expectations are the key to a great Nice Things experience.

Best Things: Burgers

The guidelines for a journey into JC’s burgers. Why this is fun to talk about; vegans, burgers and how we will judge the burgers.

Liberty Prime

Valentine’s Day, I hardly talk about food, but spend a lot of time talking about amazing service.

The Ashford

A brief history and context for this bull shit. My self-righteous justification for not going.

Bad Things pt. 1

How terrible food IG is, Marie Kondoing my follows, Ted Bundy, and general cry baby bull shit.

Golden Cicada

Somehow over the past few years going to the Golden Cicada has become passé.

This article is about why you should go back.

Oak on Pine

Reminiscing about working at a nursery, sub-hot chicken, and why its important to be creative.

Top 5 Reasons Lists Don’t Matter

He used to not care about lists, but now has temper-tantrums over shitty clickbait by using this one simple trick.

His secret may shock you…

Other Things: A Eulogy for the Pizza Hole

Newest guest contributed eassy. This week, musings about the middle class of pizza joints by Goth Odell.

La Cote

Sometimes trash gets so hot that it starts a dumpster fire. This is one of those instances.

Rumba Cubana

Having a terrible drink in Hamilton Park, shitty kids, and really great Cuban food – all in present tense.

Other Things: Chicken Parm

This is an article about the best Chicken Parm in JC by a guest contributor named Hungry Chuck. Take a look.

Hudson Restaurant Week

Seeing salmon specials on every menu can mean only one thing: its Hudson Restaurant Week. Or is it? I thought this shit was in the winter.

Luna

Law and Order: Food Crimes. I talk about a trip to the suburbs, take a quick detour to speak about Arnold Schwarzenegger, and talk about one of the worst meals I’ve had in Jersey City.

All About: Beer in Jersey City Pt. 2

JC breweries, the best place to drink beer, some random thoughts about Nextdoor.

Part two of a longer article about beer.

All About: Beer in Jersey City Pt. 1

A great man once said “beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems”

Occasionally, I’m going to write longer pieces that cover a lot of ground. To avoid your glazed eyes, I’ll break these up into a couple parts.

Wonder Bagels

I use maps, with little effort and creativity, to talk about Jersey City’s bagel deficit; Why Grind Shop is good; Patrick Ewing makes an appearance.

Dullboy

My lack of appreciation for Bob Dylan; bitching about getting older, and how all work and no play made Dullboy a dull bar.

Gringo’s

Peeling back the impossible under-seasoned onion on why this place sucks so much

Lo-Fi

Square Pizza and Miller High Life, the first of many examinations of neighborhood bars, and a totally not-arbitrary ratings system.

Not a Review of Pet Shop

I’ve been busy, which means I haven’t been able to produce as much pithy content as I would like.

If you’d like a window into the depths of my apathy and laziness please re-read that last sentence.

Corgi Spirits

1,000 words on terrible cocktails, great tonic, and the general feeling of disappointment that comes from getting a sword for Christmas.

Hooked JC

Bergen-Lafayette is one of the hottest hoods in JC and Hooked, one of its many new restaurants, can tell us more about the neighborhood than it can about itself.

Taqueria Downtown

The first place I ate when I moved to Jersey City was Taqueria, so it’s fitting that I’d come back for my first bit of pithy commentary.

Nice Things: A Mission Statement

The first pithy 800 words of this blog